On This Day of Days

I'm sorry to say, but today is not a good day. :(

Today I feel slightly Depressed, Dejected, Despondent, Destroyed, Disconsolate, Dispirited and just plain Down.

Bummer Aye.

I looked up the many words for Sad/Depressed.

There's:

Bad, Blue, Bummed Out, Crestfallen, Crummy, Down in the Dumps, Down in the Mouth, Downcast, Downhearted, Dragged, Fed up, Glum, Grim, Hurting, Pain, In the Dumps, In the Toilet, Let Down, Low-down, Low-spirited, Lugubrious, Melancholy, Moody, Morose, Pessimistic, Taken Down, Torn Up, Unhappy, Weeping, Woebegone. and more.

who knew a list could be so long for just one word.

The reason for this you ask? well, maybe you didn't, but I still think I'll tell you.

I am Down-Trodden due to the presence of a lovely strong cold, and the lack of reply from some of the people that mean alot to me. I live in a hall and due to my Uni studies, the cost of a toll call, and the people not at Uni having a job, I keep in contact mainly through letters.good old snail mail. lol

I have lived in my hall for 3 months now, and am slightly confused and the lack of a letter from some of my friends. not a lack of letters, but just the lack of 1. first week here is sent out a 'Hello!' letter to all my friends, M, H, and J. M wrote back eventually, which was lovely because she's really busy with the baby. Plus that letter was going to a rural address so didn't expect anything for a while. But for some reason, H and J never wrote back. I did get in contact with H, she said she had gotten them, was planning on writing back soon. that was about a month or 2 ago. No letter from H, :'(

J never replied either. I sent them both another letter (or 2 lol) yet still, nothing.

the only letters I get are from N, love of my life. lol Each letter makes my week, and I love that we can stay close through them. Same with M, letters are less frequent, but that i can understand, Work plus Baby = busy all day. Plus she replies.

so, sickness, plus no letter = sad me.

sad me, plus laptop = Virtual Vomit Post

hope you don't mind.

Epic Fail!

Found this on Youtube, might be fake but it is still funny. Scary thing is it could happen.

Boys, if you think to do this, might I suggest holding on to the string, just in case. lol

Oh The Possibilities

Oh my dear reader's (however few you are) I have a conundrum and a delightful puzzle. I am the type of person that is easily curious, and once curious, difficult to reign in.

So, when people are doing something and tell me that it is a surprise, I go nuts! I have to know. I like surprises. Like them very much, but if I know there is a surprise coming, I feel like I have to know what it is. The more rational side of me knows that it is better not to figure it out but the cat in me is suicidal.

Anyway, to the point of this post. I have just been told about a surprise. I don’t know who it is for, but I do know that I’m not allowed to know what it is till June! And it involves shopping.

All I know about this surprise is this:

1) it is sensible

2) it does not involve drugs, condoms, or man bra’s

3) it is not a banded item at the army base.

Oh the mystery. I think I’m going to have a cup of green tea, eat a piece of duck (shaped) cake, and try to ignore my inner cat. Not sure if satisfaction is a guaranteed way of resurrection so probably shouldn’t risk it. Though the temptation is there.

Its Been A Long Time Since I Dreamt Of Dying.

I had this dream today. I was the same age as now (18) and my mother died of cancer. I don’t know why but my father wasn’t there. He might have died also before the dream was set. The people at the hospital blamed me for my mother’s death. Said that my lifestyle brought the devil on us and that my mother died from him. The whole ‘sex, drugs and alcohol’ curse.

Then I went skiing. Don’t know why. I can’t ski for shit. But I went skiing and I was on a course when another person bumped into me. I went flying to the side over the safe zone. You know the part where they put up a plastic, orange coloured fence to stop you from skiing into the dangerous parts of a slope. Yeh, so I flow over that and started to slide down this really steep slope. The slope started to level out and I thought, “Sweet, just need to climb back up. No biggie” but then a ground went away. It was a cliff and I started to fall.

The whole time though out this dream, I had a voice in the background talking about me. Like a documentary or a news broad cast. How my body has not been found, how I was blamed for my mothers death, things like that.

I woke up just before I hit the ground.

This dream wasn’t scary; I didn’t wake up terrified or any other such thing. I just woke up with this feeling under my rib. Round about where the diaphragm is. It’s the feeling you get when you know something is wrong. And I can’t get that feeling to go away. So now I can’t sleep. I have 7 hours to wait before I can do anything.

I wanted to call my boyfriend. But just incase I sent him a text; if he’s up then I can chat to him. He hasn’t texted back so he’s probably sleeping. I want to talk to him so much but I can’t find it in me to wake him up. So here I sit, looking at my phone every few mins, hoping for the text that won’t come till morning.